Note to Julia

Dear Julia, never forget this!
Elder Bednar, 1998 BYU Education Week
Teach Them To Understand
Brothers and sisters, it is wonderful to
be here with you today. A few ground rules as
we begin: First, this will not be me talking at
you as much as I hope it will be an invitation for
the Spirit of the Holy Ghost to teach all of us.
Second, if you have your scriptures, the rustling
of the pages is sweet music to my ears. I
recommend that if you have your scriptures you
put them on your lap. You may even want to
have a piece of paper and a pen‐‐not to write
down anything I will say, but to pay particular
attention to and note the thoughts that will
come to your mind and the feelings that will
come to your heart. The Lord indicates in
Section 8 of the Doctrine and Covenants that
revelation frequently comes as thoughts to the
mind and feelings to the heart. So listening to
me is not important, but paying attention to the
promptings of the Holy Ghost is very important.
Please turn with me to Section 50 in the
Doctrine and Covenants, verses 13 and 14:
"Wherefore, I the Lord ask you this question‐‐
unto what were ye ordained? To preach my
gospel by the Spirit, even the Comforter which
was sent forth to teach the truth." I would draw
your attention to a very important distinction in
verse 14. When you and I are called to a
position and set apart to serve in the Church,
our responsibility is not to teach. It is to preach.
The word preach in our contemporary
vocabulary has some negative baggage
associated with it. We think of people ranting
and raving and pounding the pulpit; that is not
it at all. Preaching is explaining and articulating
the doctrine of Christ by the power of the Spirit.
If you and I, as we are properly set apart, fulfill
that responsibility, who then does the teaching?
The answer is found in verse 14: "Even the
Comforter which was sent forth to teach the
truth." We are taught by the third member of
the Godhead, even the Holy Ghost. That is why
it is so important when we are assembled in a
setting such as this to remember and heed the
thoughts that come to our minds and the
feelings that come to our hearts. They are put
there by the Spirit of the Holy Ghost. That is the
teaching we should respond to. So I invite that
spirit and pray we will have the companionship
of the Holy Ghost. I ask you to pray for me, even
as I now pray for you, that we can have that
spiritual gift as we are together during this
period of time.
Every Home is a House of Learning. As I
have reflected on that theme from Elder
Wirthlin, the question has come to my mind:
"Why is the home so crucial for gospel
instruction?" I think we would all agree that the
home can and should be the most natural and
the most effective setting for learning the
gospel. I would simply pose this one question:
"Why?" Let me suggest a few thoughts that
have come to my mind as I have reflected on
this question.
The first reason is the home is the only
place where we cannot hide from who we really
are. Brother Mack Shirley said some very kind
things about Sister Bednar and me today. I work
with Brother Shirley; I sign his checks. He has to
say nice things about me. Now, I will tell you
what the natural man in me would love to
believe. I would love to believe that Brother
Shirley is exactly right in all of those nice things
he said. However, when I return to my home
and talk with my wife or my 16‐year‐old son,
they help me remember things as they really
are.
More than a year ago I received a
phone call from Elder Henry B. Eyring. During
the conversation he asked me this question:
"Elder Bednar, we are in the process of
identifying a new president for Ricks College.
Would you be interested in being considered?" I
said, "I would be delighted to learn about the
position and be considered." He then said,
"Good. Let's get right to business. You and your
wife need to be in Salt Lake City tomorrow." I
called my wife and said, "Susan, I just got a call
from Elder Eyring. We have to be in Salt Lake
City tomorrow." She said, "David, for 23 years
you have been teasing me. This is the biggest
hoax you have ever tried to pull, and I am not
buying it!" It took me almost 15 minutes to
convince Susan that I was not kidding and that
we really had to make arrangements to get to
Salt Lake City. That evening at dinner I said to
our youngest son, "Jeffrey, I received a call from
Elder Eyring today. Mom and I will be traveling
to Salt Lake City to be interviewed about the
possibility of moving to Rexburg, Idaho, to
become the president of Ricks College." He took
about five seconds, looked at me, and said,
"Dad, there have to be a lot of men in the
Church better qualified for that job than you!"
Other people who do not know me well might
have thought, "He seems to be a likely
candidate for that job." My son was saying, "Are
you kidding me? My dad?"
What does this experience illustrate
about learning gospel principles in the home?
Truth is knowledge of things as they really were,
as they really are, and as they really will be. You
learn the truth about yourself in the home, and
you cannot hide from the truths that you do not
want to see and that you do not want to be
reminded of. Sometimes that can be very
painful. Sometimes we do not deal with that
reality very well. But in the home we cannot
hide from it. Consequently, confronting truths
about ourselves that we might prefer to avoid
nurtures the process of continuing individual
repentance.
Brother Shirley may say, "Elder Bednar
does a particular thing very well." Yet my wife
knows I did not do that particular thing very
well this morning. Knowing that I cannot hide
from who I really am when I am with my wife
and my children produces in me a desire to be
better than I would ordinarily be.
So why is the home potentially the
most natural and most effective setting for
learning the gospel? Because there we find the
truth about ourselves, and we cannot hide from
it.
We are going to spend some time in the
scriptures to identify the second reason why the
home is the best place to learn gospel
principles. The Savior emphatically emphasized
the home as a special setting for the learning of
gospel doctrine and principles. Please turn to 3
Nephi, Chapter 17. As we go through this series
of verses, we are going to focus on a word. I will
highlight that word when we get to it. You will
recall that in Chapter 17 the Savior is teaching
the people in the Land of Bountiful near the
temple. This is one of the most powerful
chapters in all of holy writ. Beginning in verse 1:
Behold, now it came to pass that
when Jesus had spoken these words he looked
round about again on the multitude, and he
said unto them: Behold, my time is at hand.
I perceive that ye are weak, that ye
cannot understand all my words . . .
Understand is the word I want to draw
to our attention. Notice that the Savior, even in
the midst of his preaching, was aware that the
people could not understand all that was being
presented.
. . . ye cannot understand all my
words which I am commanded of the Father to
speak unto you at this time.
Therefore, go ye unto your homes,
and ponder upon the things which I have said,
and ask of the Father, in my name, that ye may
understand, and prepare your minds for the
morrow, and I come unto you again. (3 Nephi
17:1‐3, emphasis added)
What a marvelous formula! (1) Go to
your home, (2) ponder upon the things that
have been said, (3) ask of the Father in Christ's
name that you will understand, and (4) prepare
your mind for additional instruction.
Even though the most powerful teacher
who ever lived was in their midst and
instructing these people, yet He, Jesus Christ,
recognized that true understanding would come
in the home. I find it powerful and significant
that Christ emphasized the setting of the home
as the place for understanding the doctrines of
the gospel.

Now turn to Section 68 in the Doctrine
and Covenants. I want to link together a series
of verses that we all know and are familiar with.
Perhaps we have not examined carefully the
word understand in these verses. Brace
yourself, because I am about to preach a hard
doctrine.
And again, inasmuch as parents have
children of her stakes which are organized, that
teach them not to understand the doctrine of
repentance, faith in Christ the Son of the living
God, and of baptism and the gift of the Holy
Ghost by the laying on of the hands, when eight
years old, the sin be upon the heads of the
parents.
For this shall be a law unto the
inhabitants of Zion, or in any of her stakes
which are organized. (D&C 68:25‐26, emphasis
added)
Here is the hard doctrine. It does not
say to teach our children. Teaching is an
activity. It says that we should teach them to
understand. Understanding is an outcome; it is
a result. It is easy for us to say, "I teach my
children in the home." That is not the job we
have been assigned. That is not the admonition.
It says that we are to teach them to understand.
Here is the question that follows this
hard doctrine. "Can any parent ever ensure or
guarantee that a child will understand?" The
answer is, "No." Let's go back to Section 50 and
continue with what we have read about the
process of learning by the Spirit. We have
already read verses 13 and 14. This entire
section describes the process whereby he that
preacheth and he that receiveth, when they do
so under the influence of the Holy Ghost, are
edified and rejoice together. There is one other
important outcome. Can you guess what it is?
They understand each other. Let's go to verse
17 in Section 50:
Verily I say unto you, he that is
ordained of me and sent forth to preach the
word of truth by the Comforter, in the Spirit of
truth, doth he preach it by the Spirit of truth or
some other way?
And if it be by some other way it is
not of God.
Therefore, why is it that ye cannot
understand and know, that he that receiveth
the word by the Spirt of truth receiveth it as it is
preached by the Spirit of truth?
Wherefore, he that preacheth and he
that receiveth, understand one another, and
both are edified and rejoice together. (D&C
50:17‐18, 21‐22, emphasis added)
I believe, brothers and sisters, that
Section 68 verses 25‐26 are an admonition for
parents to create a home that is a house of
learning wherein the Spirit of the Holy Ghost
can reside. In such a home the Holy Ghost can
teach the children to understand. It is not the
parents who do the teaching. The parents have
a role; they create, invite, and facilitate. But
who ultimately is the teacher? The Spirit of the
Holy Ghost. And it is teaching by the Spirit that
produces understanding.
I think each of these scriptures points to
the home as a context for teaching by the Spirit
of the Holy Ghost. Within a Christ‐centered
home, love, trust, and confidence invite the
Spirit of the Holy Ghost. I believe these
scriptures highlight the importance of creating a
home wherein the Holy Ghost can do the
teaching. As parents we have the responsibility
to establish that type of house of learning.
I would like to draw your attention to
the second chapter of Mosiah. Before we read
these verses, I would ask you to think about
King Benjamin. As people came to hear him
preach, how were they organized? They were in
their families. Isn't that interesting? Let's look
for a pattern. The Savior said, "Go to your
homes. Ponder." I believe the pattern includes
discussion in our families about the things that
have been preached. The admonition in Section
50 is to preach by the Spirit. The instruction,
even the commandment, we receive in Section
68 is to teach our children to understand. Both
passages highlight the same pattern of creating
a Christ‐centered, spirit‐filled house of learning
so that the Holy Ghost can teach and testify.
Let's read Chapter 2 in Mosiah
beginning with verse 5:
And it came to pass that when they
came up to the temple, they pitched their tents
round about, every man according to his family,
consisting of his wife, and his sons, and his
daughters, and their sons, and their daughters,
from the eldest down to the youngest, every
family being separate one from another.
And they pitched their tents round
about the temple, every man having his tent
with the door thereof towards the temple, that
thereby they might remain in their tents and
hear the words which king Benjamin should
speak unto them; (Mosiah 2:5‐6)
What is the word we are zeroing in
on? Understand. Watch for it in verse 9:
And these are the words which he
spake and caused to be written, saying: My
brethren, all ye that have assembled yourselves
together, you that can hear my words which I
shall speak unto you this day; for I have not
commanded you to come up hither to trifle
with the words which I shall speak, but that you
should hearken unto me, and open your ears
that ye may hear, and your hearts that ye may
understand, and your minds that the mysteries
of God may be unfolded to your view. (Mosiah
2:9, emphasis added)
In the home, where you cannot hide
from who you really are, where love and
confidence and trust invite the Spirit of the Holy
Ghost, our ears can be opened that we may
hear, our hearts may be opened that we
understand as we are taught by the Spirit of the
Holy Ghost, and our minds are opened that the
mysteries of God may be unfolded to our view.
Is it a coincidence that Section 8 of the Doctrine
and Covenants emphasizes revelation coming to
the mind and the heart and here King Benjamin
says that our hearts and our minds will be
opened to behold the mysteries of God?
Brothers and sisters, I think opening our
minds and hearts is part of the emphasis Elder
Wirthlin has suggested in our theme, Every
Home is a House of Learning. May I suggest just
a few things that we can do to create that kind
of home.
First, understand and love the doctrine
of Christ. As I travel around the Church, I find
the word "doctrine" is not very well
understood. Sometimes we think doctrine
refers to weird, abstract, mysterious subjects in
the gospel of Jesus Christ. As I refer to doctrine,
I am not talking about how many light‐years it is
to Kolob and who lives there. Rather, doctrine
refers to the eternal, unchanging, and simple
truths of the gospel of Jesus Christ. There are
several key words in that definition: eternal,
unchanging, simple, and truth. Doctrines are
never altered. They never vary. They will always
be the same. You can always count on them.
There is, for example, the doctrine of the
Atonement. There is doctrine related to
priesthood and priesthood keys. There is
doctrine related to continuing revelation and
the pattern whereby our Heavenly Father
communicates with us and we communicate
with Him. These are eternal, unchanging truths
of the gospel of Jesus Christ.
There are also principles. Principles are
doctrinally based guidelines for what we ought
to do. Therefore, if there is a doctrine of the
Atonement, then the first principle of the
gospel is faith in the Lord Jesus Christ.
Repentance is the second principle or
doctrinally based guideline for how we should
live. Both of these principles are linked to the
doctrine of the Atonement. Brothers and
sisters, doctrine answers the why questions of
our lives. Principles provide us with direction
about the what and the how. May I suggest that
in the times in which we live, only the restored
gospel of Jesus Christ has the answers to the
why questions that matter the most.
Susan and I have lived in the mission
field all of our adult lives, and we have
encountered marvelous people in other
denominations who do many of the right things
but do not fully understand why. It concerns me
as I see young people in our Church who know
all the correct things they should do and do not
have a clue as to why. They have a check‐list
mentality. "Say my prayers morning and night.
Read the scriptures." Why do they do these
things? "Because I am supposed to. Because the
prophet said. Because my mom and dad will
jump my case if I don't." May I suggest that
each of these activities is related to the doctrine
of revelation. We pray every morning in a
meaningful way to invite the companionship of
the Holy Ghost. At the end of the day we report
and give an account of our stewardship in our
evening prayer. We express gratitude for the
companionship of the Spirit and the direction
we received. We also study the scriptures daily
to feast upon the words of Christ, to again invite
the Spirit, and to receive instruction and
direction. These things are related to the
doctrine of receiving revelation. But do we do
these things without an understanding of what
they are linked to doctrinally? Do we
understand why? If we do not understand the
why, then the power available to us through the
doctrine of Christ will not be evident in our
lives.
This is particularly true with young
people pertaining to the law of chastity. They
know they shouldn't, but do they know why
they shouldn't? Where is the best place to
teach the why of chastity? In our homes.
Here is another hard doctrine. Maybe
you and I do not "preach" doctrine in our
homes as frequently or as effectively as we
should because we do not know the doctrine as
well as we should.
I do not know a young person who truly
understands the doctrine related to "the seed
of Abraham" who would violate the law of
chastity. We were foreordained in the
premortal existence to the blessings associated
with birth through a particular lineage, even the
chosen lineage of Abraham‐‐not because we are
better, not because we are more special, but
because we have particular responsibilities that
we covenanted we would fulfill. Therefore we
came to the earth through a lineage with the
birthright blessing of the priesthood. Every man
who holds the priesthood was foreordained to
that very responsibility in the premortal
existence. Does a young man who understands
that doctrine have a choice to go on a mission?
He made that choice before he was ever born.
We come to the earth as the seed of
Abraham to participate in blessing the families
of the earth. Father Abraham was given the
promise that through him and through his
posterity, which is us, all the families of the
earth would be blessed. How? By our bearing
this ministry, which is the responsibility to
proclaim the gospel, and this priesthood,
meaning the saving ordinances of the gospel of
Jesus Christ. We have promised that we will
carry this message to the nations of the earth.
Brothers and sisters, you and I were born to
spend our lives proclaiming the gospel and
serving others. Might I suggest that if you are
65, retired, and thinking about serving a
mission, you made that choice before you were
ever born. It is through the lineage of Abraham
that we came to the earth. Blessing others by
proclaiming the gospel is what we were born to
do.
As I have opportunities to visit with
young people, I like to talk about what it means
to be the "seed of Abraham." Hoping that the
Spirit of the Lord will touch their hearts, I
highlight the story of Jacob and Esau. Esau gave
up his birthright blessing for a bowl of red bean
soup. Now a question directed to the young
people: Would you really want to forfeit your
birthright as the seed of Abraham‐‐
foreordained in the premortal existence, living
on the earth at this particular time to bless the
families of the earth, the most glorious
spiritually destiny you could ever hope for? Do
you really want to give up those blessings and
opportunities for a few minutes of messing
around? If we understand the doctrine of who
we are and why we are here, then that
understanding changes the way we do things.
Listen to this statement from President
Boyd K. Packer: "True doctrine understood
changes attitudes and behavior. The study of
the doctrines of the gospel will improve
behavior quicker than a study of behavior will
improve behavior" (Boyd K. Packer, "Little
Children," Ensign, November 1986, pg. 17).
I do not intend to be harsh, but in Relief
Society, priesthood, Young Men's, and Young
Women's we sometimes have lessons on topics
such as self‐esteem, self‐worth, and goal
setting. Such instruction indeed can be good
and valuable. But you can get the same
information at the Rotary Club or a number of
other secular organizations. However, at the
Rotary Club you cannot get the pure, simple
doctrine of the Atonement of Christ. And selfesteem
and the ability to effectively set and
accomplish goals ultimately comes from
understanding doctrine, not just the mechanics
of application.
Listen to this statement from President
Ezra Taft Benson:
The Lord works from the inside out.
The world works from the outside in. The world
would take people out of the slums. Christ takes
the slums out of people and then they take
themselves out of the slums. The world would
mold men by changing their environment.
Christ changes men who then change their
environment. The world would shape human
behavior, but Christ can change human nature.
(Teachings of Ezra Taft Benson, pg. 79)
As parents, how do we get inside? This
is the challenge because we have the
responsibility to teach our children to
understand. If the Lord works from the inside
out, can a parent get inside? The answer was
found in Section 50. You and I preach. And I do
not mean rant and rave and pound the pulpit.
We articulate, we explain, we set a worthy
example, and we testify of the simple doctrine
of Christ‐‐particularly in our homes‐‐so the
Spirit of the Holy Ghost can teach, bringing
thoughts to the mind and feelings to the heart.
That is how the Lord gets inside. In essence, you
and I have the opportunity to be the vessel or
vehicle through whom the Spirit can come and
touch the hearts of those whom we love.
Finally, this statement from President
Marion G. Romney:
The only safety we have in the world
for our children is what they build within
themselves. We can make restrictions against
drinking and smoking, and we can make
regulations to guide the affairs of people. We
can throw all the protections possible around
them. But after all, the thing that holds them in,
the final test, is what is inside of them. They
must be able to stand alone. (F. Burton Howard,
Marion G. Romney: His Life and Faith, pg. 153)
If they know the why, they will quickly
learn the how. Am I suggesting that we never
discuss the how? Not at all. I am suggesting that
perhaps we do not spend as much time with the
why as we need to. As a stake president, I
interviewed many, many people about their
family home evenings and what they did during
that time together. For many members, it was
Monday night football and donuts. They would
talk in our interviews about the wonderful, fun
activities they had together as families. Having
fun activities is right, and good, and true. But it
is not enough. Anybody can have fun as a
family. Anybody can go to the park. But if with
small children in the park there are even two or
three minutes devoted to a simple illustration
about a doctrine or a principle and a pure
testimony expressed by a parent, there comes
into the mind and into the heart of those
children understanding that will bear eternal
fruit. I fear there is not enough focus on
doctrine in our homes. We should each
evaluate our ability to preach the doctrine more
effectively to our families in our homes.
As I interviewed members of the
Church, frequently I would inquire, "Tell me
about personal and family prayer in your
home." "Well, President, we know we should do
that but we don't do it as consistently as we
ought to." "How about family scripture study?"
"It just seems that with our hectic schedules as
we all go in different directions, we just never
seem to get that done." Then, without trying to
be too biting or too pointed, I would ask,
"Please help me understand what it is in your
life that is so important that you cannot make
time for these spiritually essential activities."
These activities invite the Spirit of the Holy
Ghost. It is not just a matter of checking them
off a "to do" list so we do not feel guilty. It is a
matter of inviting the spirit of revelation and
the protection of the Holy Ghost for me, for
you, and for our children.
Brothers and sisters, think of the total
amount of time in a week devoted to doctrinally
based, spirit‐filled instruction for our young
people through the programs of the Church.
Let's assume they go to seminary. That might
yield three or four hours of quality instruction
during the course of the week. What would
they receive in church on Sunday? Thirty
minutes in sacrament meeting; thirty minutes in
Sunday School; and thirty minutes in Young
Men's, Young Women's, or Gospel Doctrine. A
total of maybe five, six, or seven hours for the
entire week, if we are optimistic. Think of the
evil influences in the world. Will the Church and
its programs alone safeguard you and me and
our children in an increasingly wicked world?
The answer is no. Please do not misunderstand
this statement‐‐I would not trust my children
exclusively to the programs of the Church. I love
the Church, but the Church operates as a
support to you and to me as we create a home
that is a house of learning. First and foremost,
the responsibility is ours as parents to create a
Christ‐centered, spirit‐filled home environment
where the Holy Ghost can teach and testify to
our children. If they know the why, they will
quickly learn the how.
Brothers and sisters, with all the energy
of my soul, I express appreciation for being here
with you today. I have gained much from your
faith as you have assembled here. I hope the
Spirit has instructed each of us in things we can
do better to follow the admonition of Elder
Wirthlin to create a home that is a house of
learning.
I testify that Jesus is the Christ. I know
He lives. I know He appeared with his Father to
the boy prophet Joseph Smith. And I testify the
living Savior directs the affairs of His living
church through apostles and prophets in these
latter days. I so testify in the name of Jesus
Christ, amen.